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Entry: Cupid Mom, Stupid Son - Part I Wednesday, January 17, 2007

This guy comes from the US. Meets a girl his parents set up for him on a Sunday. The guy and the girl okay each other on the Monday and the marriage happens on the Thursday. And this is no fiction. Actually happened with a family friend of mine!!. And am sure it is quite a regular story with a lot of people in our country.

4 days was probably slightly too fast, but I dont think the average time is anything more than 15-20 days in such cases.

"Absolutely insane! So very ridiculous, wierd and outrageous", I said.
"But thats how arranged marriages happen beta ", said my Mom.
"How on earth can you decide about a girl you want to spend the rest of your life with, in just 1 freaking meeting??"
"Your father met me just once. And I have not been that bad a wife or a mom. kyun?"

I was silent for a long while.

"But, so much has changed . Lifestyles are so different. Haven't you had to compromise on many things?"

She was silent for a long while.

"Yes, I have had to. But do you really think there are no compromises in love marriages?"

Silence from this end.

"Yes, but isnt the risk factor higher in arranged cases? I mean if I am in love, I have understood the girl so much that I could probably have already considered all the negative shades already?".

Silence from there.

"But marriage is not about just the girl. Its about the family too. And in a lot of likelihood arranged marriages happen between understanding families. Trust me. You cannot live happily if both families are not supportive. And then why cant you consider all the negative shades of your wife? Why just the girlfriend?After all you also met your girlfriend for the first time kabhi na kabhi? And dont worry we'll ensure that you meet the girl a few times".

No words for a minute.

"But ma, I cannot make out anything about anybody easily.".

"We'll help you. Dont worry".

"Areeeeeeeeee..."
"Areeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...."

"I am not convinced."

"Why, what is your problem?" asked Mom.

"Areeee. Itna bada problem hai!! How can you not see it??. Okay forget me. Think about the girl. You know, its so difficult to bear me if you are not madly in love with me. What if the girl doesnt like me?."

"Yes, the risks are there in both cases. But, statistically speaking, love marriages are more susceptible to breakups!!".

:O Silence again. A long one.

"Crap.. thats because statistically speaking the guys who get into arranged marriages are the ones who dont believe in freedom. And only believe in compromises."

"So, what are you suggesting?".

"I dont know "..

We were not done. The conversation continues in the next blog.

9 comments


	void February 20, 2007 03:58 PM PST @Charu Gold again :).. stiff competition to Golu haan :).. Hassle free.. dont you think it is not the best reason/excuse to not go for the other mode? given that you have to live with it for another 60-70% of your life with it? No, I am not advocating anything :) @ Raven Me doing good dude. caught up with work as usual. otherwise okayish. I agree with the iteration logic.. but given the human apetite for new things.. thi iteration will never end if you dont commit to one particular step. No, I am not advocating anything :) @ Golu rox CAM! :).. No, I am not advocating anything :) @ Guddu Hehe.. famous aadmi hoon main :P @ Abhinav Agar yahi logic diya hota to main bhi tujhe nahin deta Infy mein naukri :P.. @ S S boley to?? And haan.. yeh is age group mein sab ke saath hota hai roz roz :).. @ all. Part 2 is up!


	Charu February 4, 2007 08:17 PM PST Ahem ahem..bhere's PART 2????? Cmon out with itt..fasshtt :D


	s January 25, 2007 12:29 PM PST nice blog title...seems like an echo of what happens every now n then with me...xcept its more on the lines of - Me: When i get bored with people i have known for five years, how do u expect me to say yes in five days to someone i hardly know... Mom: Thats coz u were always restless. marriage will Settle you... blah blah blah... Waitin for part2


	Golu rox January 23, 2007 05:19 PM PST part 2 kahan hai???????? ~tanashahi nahi chalegi :D


	Abhinav January 18, 2007 07:16 PM PST after the stats 1 mid term (till then i thought i was a stats powerhouse), i felt like i had become statistically numb (similar to floyd bhai saying comfortably numb!) and yeah, infy rejected me at kgp when i was asked to give the pros and cons of arranged marriage vs love marriage! i mentioned that how can i leave ppl i know for 20 yrs (i was 20 then) for someone i know for maybe 6 months.. i might contradict this myself for all i know!


	Guddu January 18, 2007 02:09 PM PST areeee...ye to too much hai...voidzone ke blog pe comments likhne ke liye ladai :P :P shonuu tu to famous ho gaya hai re.... areeeee actually u cud have used that to describe u "Famous" :P


	Golu rox January 18, 2007 12:59 PM PST arranged marrg mein sabse bada risk hai - mere type ki koi ladki mil gayi to???? bande ki to waat lag legi na :D ~Charu tumhara bhi kuch karna padega mujhe :P


	raven January 18, 2007 10:36 AM PST <i>And then why cant you consider all the negative shades of your wife? Why just the girlfriend?After all you also met your girlfriend for the first time kabhi na kabhi? And dont worry we'll ensure that you meet the girl a few times</i> i guess one argument could be... you try out so many ppl for love... interact with quite a few for extended periods in normal settings (the ones where you dont know yet that u may have to spend rest of ur lives together) ... and then decide on the one to love. and, just in case, you find out she's not the one... can move on... run the search algo again and settle for the next, best solution ... and can iterate in this manner any number of times possible. with marriage... this iteration is missing... so once we say yes... its yes forever! :( howz life?


	Charu January 18, 2007 10:15 AM PST Hehee ..and the debate continues huh?? :)..smtimes i think arranged marriages are so much "simpler"..hassle free types..seeing my brother gettin into one tht is! sooo when u tying the knot? :D btw..do u have somone to get ur "love marriage" done with? ;)..oooh n yay 1st again

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