Long pending.

Easily one of the most difficult things to do. Find a house for yourself. And we successfully completed the exercise and are now proud owners of a small habitat. (Well techincally it still belongs to LIC HFL.. but the name plate outside the house will not say that).

Having been through this ordeal for so long (Almost took 2 years of focused attention from me and Sadia), it reminded me of some of the interesting similarities another similar 'ordeal'. Well the other one was probably more difficult, more important and more intriguing - Spouse hunting!

Here is quick list of the results from the House hunting vs Spouse hunting study..

- Both of them are supposed indicators of a man's tendency to 'settle down'.
- The ads for both look so much better in pictures than in person. My wife will so agree with me!
- Ever wondered why the concepts of the websites like shaadi.com and magicbricks.com are exactly the same!
- The brokers/agents work on the same principle. Have nothing to do with the buyer or seller but will still make money (Who is the buyer and who is the seller in case of spouse hunting is decided by who has more money)
- Best part - Budgets & tastes never match. 80% of my batchmates wanted to marry Aishwarya Rai. And I wanted a villa. Same difference.
- Registration & registrar are again common term.
- It is not enough if you alone like the house/spouse. The entire family has to approve of it. In both cases. Of course, you can elope with the spouse but not the house :)
- Acquiring one has to be accompanied by social functions. Only to tell people that now you are legal owners of one and can officially spend time together.
- Some people also have the tendency of always liking the neighbour's house a little more :). Ditto with the spouse case.
- Most of the times, the houses come unfurnished. A lot of effort goes in upgrading it. Ask people how much Sadia had to change me after Shadi. Full credit :)
- Correct choice in both cases can determine how happy you'd be of leaving office in the evening everyday.

Its not all the surprising now that my aunt always used to say "Beta.. shaadi kar ke dekh.. ghar banaa ke dekh!"

I dont know why, but I have had this problem from the time I remember.. that I always wanted everybody around me to like me. I know most of us are like that.. but I think I have a compulsive disorder of sorts in this regard. I get rather upset, when I dont get good vibes from everybody around me.

I know it sounds trivial, but when you think about it.. it can be a pretty bad problem really. I mean, its true, everybody wants to be the nice guy.. but it can be pretty wierd if you want that everybody to be really EVERYBODY.

It was in those days when I was taking the auto pretty often. Now, I am very glad to say that I have graduated to taking the buses very regularly.. and by the way, the red volvos are the best thing to have happened to Bangalore after the weather. They are way too comfortable.

Okay, so I was in this auto which dropped me on airport road at around 9:30 pm and the guy demanded one and half times the meter. I was in a pretty bad mood that day.. cant recall why.. and I got into a really bad argument with the guy.

At the end of it, I gave him the money and told him with an absolutely high temper.. "It is because of this random attitude of yours, that you are sitting in front.. and I am sitting behind. You'll never ever graduate to the rear. Never." and stormed out. Funny statement, but in all that emotion.. it was a pretty nasty one.

And believe me.. after just a couple of mins when the temper died down, I started feeling bad that I said what I said. It was stupid.. I mean why on earth was I wondering about hurting a scruplous auto driver. But I was really feeling awful about it.

And just then I noticed an auto coming pretty fast towards me. It was the same auto. He stopoped right beside me.. Looked at me and said.. "Sir, I am sorry. Take this money" and left.

Unbelievable! And if you are a Bangalorean, you would know that this is way too surreal.

But I learnt something that day.. its not all that bad to be that bad guy at times.

I have no idea why I havent written all these days. Ridiculous to say that I couldnt find time in one full year.
But I just had a red bull. And I cant sleep :).. So here we go.

A lot has happened since the last blog. I have lived almost 2% of my life!, spent almost 4% of the time I'll get to spend with Sadia! laughed away perhaps 5% of my quota, exhausted 10% of the PJs I could ever crack, expended 5% of good health reserved for me, witnessed almost 10% of tendulkar's batting runs, earned 1% of all that I will ever earn, got a new boss, made some new friends,visited a couple of new countries.. Gosh, a lot!

Scary thought indeed.. so much happens so soon. Almost like life is perenially having a red bull .. always with wings :)

Anyways this is about something else.

A friend of mine searched me up on orkut recently and pinged me "What's up dude? Remember me?". I was really glad. But I also felt a little guilty.
We were damn good friends at school. The Jai Veeru kind. After school, we went on to different colleges. We were in touch for some time. But, then slowly I went really far, made some new friends and lost touch completely. Its probably been almost 12 years since I spoke to him! I sat and thought of all the wonderful friends I had made over years. Man.. there were so many who were integral part of my life for good chunks of period, who I have not even spoken to.. since so long!

I couldnt really see the reason why.. But funnily.. my life seemed to me almost like one of those fictional novel with a collection of several short stories..
Though some characters were constant across stories, most of them had plenty of new characters, always a new plot, some new friends, some new villains, and definitely a new heroine ;),  Of course in each of those stories, I was the hero :)

I was immediately on to the mission of getting back in touch with some of those really close friends. Some of them sent me surprising responses.. It was fun :)
Interestingly it seemed that everybody have had a similar phase based life. Nobody seemed to have missed me too much :)

I am not advocating that its good to loose touch with friends. In fact its a really unfortunate thing to be doing.. losing good friends.

But, perhaps life is meant to be lived like that... In chapters.

The first time I remember it happened was when I was about 12 yrs old. Mom said.. "This is the most crucial exam for you ever. Make sure you do well this time beta. You get through this and you'll get admission into a good school. Life will be good after this."  I got lured into it. And studied so hard that I easily cleared the 7th standard entrance exam question paper, which was given by mistake instead of the 6th standard one.

And it hasnt stopped since then. Somebody or the other has made sure that every exam sounded to me like the most crucial one till date and like it was the last hurdle ever. And strangely... I fell it for it every single time!

My teachers did the con job throughout my schooling. "Last time you have to  struggle hard in your life. Trust me, if you do this well... you'll be a king", Razia ma'am told us before our class X exams.

Crap.. it just got worse. Thanks to the academic legacy of my brothers, every guest at home had just one thing to tell me "Look at them. Do it well this one last time time and everybody will look upto you the rest of your life!". Two years of consistent brain-washing and I got fooled again into struggling for it. I am sure thats when my hair started greying.

Anyway, I did cross that hurdle. Only to realize that the next 4 years of graduation were defined by just one word - slogging. And somehow hoping that it would end some day, I scraped through the those myriad of hurdles. I distinctly remember our placement head, Prof. Bhaskaran telling us.. "Gentlemen, this would be the last time that you'll be put through a strain. Life is waiting with open arms after this". I couldnt wait. And I put my best foot forward.

How wrong I was. Life was waiting.. with not just open arms but a lot of ammunition too.

At work, every project milestone was the last big thing according to my manager.
Every certification was the opening door to an enchanting career growth according to our training co-ordinator. Sigh!

"Get an MBA and your life is settled". That was the only time my dad really told me something like that. I gave him the benefit of doubt. And took it on.

B-school was obscurely funny. Those tests, those presentations, those crazy deadlines, those placement interviews.. I am sure, most of us got through based on just one school of thought.. "Put crack this one last time."

I am now almost 4 years into corporate life after that and it has been no different.

Maybe thats how life is defined. You struggle hard to get past a hurdle hoping that it would be all rosy after that... only to stare at another big one.
But, perhaps that is the only thing that keeps us going... keeps us awake... keeps us alive... the next big hurdle.

Exactly 6 months from the time I said Qubool when I was asked if I was ready to sacrifice my bachelorhood.
Here's the story of my evolution into another married man!

Month-1
* In-laws stared at me for hours.. perhaps to evaluate the extent of the damage they have caused to their daughter
* Suddenly there was an attack of wierd colours in my wardrobe - Pink, Green, Yellow, Red!! Gosh..
* And a sudden attack of wierd cosmetics.. People actually use what they show on TV!
* I have lost count of the number of dinner invitations I had to attend in this month. 2 Digenes per night was normal.
* Had a tough time explaining to people how and why I forgot inviting them for the wedding.

Month-2
* In-laws continued staring.
* I couldnt believe that I had to think twice before planning my weekend cricket!
* I must have visited almost every shopping mall/store in Bangalore.
* Now, there was another very interesting reason for me to come back home!
* Had my first fight with her. It was hillarious :)

Month-3
* In-laws gave up on staring. Obviously, because they werent around :)
* Shopping, movies and restaurant bills were now major items in my monthly balance sheets
* Travel costs tripled. Strange. No. of people increased only by 2!.
* Of course, all kinds of travel packing is completely outsourced now.
* Fought again.. Was funnier this time!

Month-4
* I didnt know it was so much fun to gift somebody something without too much of a reason.
* Suddenly realized that I am never alone! Never at all.. Good or bad?
* Slow transformation of taste buds - beginning to like her cooking.
* Couldnt help wonder how my clothes, socks, hand-kerchiefs, bedsheets, curtains were all absolutely clean!
* Now, I can actually invite people to my home!
* Fought again. Hell.. I have no idea why!

Month-5
* Was it just me or was she really getting beautiful by day??
* I could be black-mailed into not watching sports! Indeed!!
* Beginning to realize that women need to talk to remain alive. And eat to get energy to talk.
* I loved watching her talk..
* Fought again.. And this time the argument was not funny at all.
* I still ended up laughing like crazy at the end of it.

Month-6
* Now, I know her more than I know myself. She is so different from what I thought she'd be. And I am happier now that I married her.
* I am fine with somebody being with me all the time. I think I like it.
* For once, I am pampering someone else.
* Still thinking of ways to convince her that watching sports is better than just talking to each other :)
* I contribute to the colour in the wardrobe now!
* We dont fight as much. But we know exactly when we think we are about to fight.. and one of us smiles. Half the battle is over

For a change, somebody asked me if the effort to marry is worth it.. I couldnt help quoting Morpheus..
"Unfortunately nobody can be told what the matrix is.. You have to see it for yourself!"

I remember those initial days when I had just got Orkutised. Everybody I knew was already there.
I used to send and receive friend requests by dozens a day! I was thrilled. I was always the 'networking' kinda guy you see.
I dont think I received too many of those 'May ya do frensip wid me?' requests.. but I have had my share of those stranger requests and crushes as well.

It was THE source of entertainment and timepass for me. I could talk to my friends who I had lost touch ages ago.. write and receive testimonials on how I felt about my good friends... scrap people sitting right beside me. Oh.. it was fun!

And like any other fad it died soon. I still log in everyday.. but thats more as a 'via' station to gmail.

But of late I started exploring something a little more interesting about orkut. The communities.

There are communities for everything. Communities for vegetarians, non-vegetarians... India, Pakistan... cricket, Soccer... Sachin, Dravid ... Arsenal, Man U... Rehman, Anu Mallik... Shahrukh, Aamir... Congress, BJP... Bush, Obama... Islam, Hinduism... Dark chocolates, Milk Chocolates...Love you, Love you not... Literally anything!

I joined all the ones I really felt I belonged to. India Community was obviously the first one. Sachin the second. And so on..

I think there is a lot you can learn from these communities. The best one being the anti-matter theory - Two communities can have two completely different view points on a same topic/event.

A cricket match result, for e.g. can have a completely different view point in a Tendulkar community compared to the one in Saurav Ganguly community.
A bomb blast can evoke amazingly different responses in India community and Pakistan community.
An election result can mean celebrations to one community and remorse for another.
A film can be declared the hit of the century on one community and a dismal flop on another.

Its fascinating to read the kind of posts on these communities.. to realize how people can have different opinions on same thing.
And the best part is.. most often not too many of them are factually wrong!

There are lots of people on orkut, who have never been able to speak up in life.
Orkut might be the first experience of a 'free for all' podium for such people.. and can thus get nasty and ruthless with some of their opinions.

It is great fun and very educational if you can understand points of view and then try to fit them in your paradigm.
But I have realized.. there are ample opportunities to get corrupted, misled and even'brainwashed'!

Social networking is a beautiful concept.
I know of people who are getting married after meeting on orkut. I have seen startups coming up based on ideas shared here.

But like every beautiful thing, it comes with a few caveats. You just gotta be aware before you scrap :).

PS: Talking about beautiful things and caveats..I think I need to blog next about married life :) watch this space!

If you ask me, the most underrated technological innovation of recent times is the snooze on the alarm! And despite this, I am almost always late out of bed. Well.. perhaps it is because of the snooze!

Anyway, after giving up on snoozing the alarm after the 9th time, I somehow dragged myself out of the bed and realized I missed my company bus again. Which meant I would have to use public transport again. And this was the 3rd time in a row this week.

And when I reached my bus stop, I noticed her again. And this time she smiled back at me. Finally, I thought! It was bound to happen eventually. I was seeing her sitting at the bus stop everyday from the past 3 days. She was the prettiest thing I had seen in days.. for sure!

Normally, I am not too good at walking up to strangers and saying hi. But I felt like doing that with her today. And hi I did. She helloed back. I was happy I had started it!

"You waiting for a bus?", I asked.  She looked at me. I was sure that was the stupidest question I ever asked.

Okay wait. I think there was a wierder instance. After 3 impressive interview rounds, a mighty pleased interviewer asked me if I had any questions. I asked him.. "Where did you buy this tie?". I know you guessed the result of the interview.

Anyway, I couldnt let the effort to look and sound like a nice guy from the past 3 days to go down the drain with that one question. I had to do something to repair the damage.

"I mean.. I have never seen you boarding any bus. You looking for some auto? " I tried to giggle. I was proud of my presence of mind. Thankfully, she smiled.

And I noticed she had awesome dimples.

"Aah.. so you have dimples too", I blurted out. She didnt find it amusing. I think, she realized these were stupid and desperate attempts to strike some conversation. But she still smiled and it was indeed the most perfect smile ever!

And again, my bus had come before hers and I had to leave.

Almost a week after that. I had again missed the company shuttle and reached the bus stop. She was there again. Sitting at almost the same place.

And today she was looking prettier. This time I went and sat beside her.

"Hey, you live here or something? You never seem to move from here!", I tried being funny again. And I thought it was a reasonable attempt.
And that graceful smile came out again and I was sure she indeed was the most perfect thing that God ever made.

This time her bus came before mine. And she tried getting up and started doing something to her legs. I noticed she was adjusting her artificial limbs. I was sure I cried. The girl was handicapped with both of her legs.

Somebody from her school bus had to get down and help that little kid get into the bus.
And as she gave that pleasant smile from the bus again... I realized some creations dont have to be complete to be perfect!

He always refused to be the 'just another' man.

He had to walk many miles to find anything better than the local primary school. And walk, he did. His brilliance was recognized much beyond the boundaries of his place. For a village, where the postman was probably the only guy who could read, his academic acumen, that brought him laurels all around, was an enigma.

Everytime he observed that he had to follow instructions to earn his ale, he refused to budge. He tried many employers and finally settled in venturing as an entrepreneur. He earned a lot of respect, but hardly any money. For his friends, who believed his technical genius could have taken him to incredible ranks, his radical attitude towards work was an enigma.

He was an extremely gregarious and social human being. His sense of humour, or probably the wierd approach to life, was enjoyed by one and all. He could make anyone laugh, and was refused to be bound by social etiquettes or norms. For his relatives, who believed that sober society consciousness was such a big deal, his ability to find the lighter side of everything was an enigma.

He was a strong man and a very healthy man. And yeah, it was despite the indiscipline in his food habits and general lifestyle. But, he rarely visited the doctors. Even simple ailments like fever or cold could not bother him for more than a night. But in less than two months of his first major hospitalization, after a reasonably healthy middle age, he succumbed to a heart attack. For his family, who had never ever seen him as anything close to being a weak old man, even his death was an enigma.

Born in a family where earning for the next meal was a big deal, he dreamt much bigger. And everything about him was so different, so enigmatic. But ironically, despite all the hype around him, he led a simple life and died an even simpler death.

He was once returning from a friend's daughter's wedding. And when everybody around him was judging the grandeur of wedding, he made a wise remark. He told his son, "The only thing people will judge in your funeral is how good a man you were. Nothing else"

Congratulations Dad! The verdict in your funeral was unanimous. You were a good man. We will miss you.

After the fight with the friend, the only good thing about that day was that I was to meet Golu. I was to fly to Delhi in the evening and was looking forward to it. But when Murphy decides that it is a bad day then it will remain a bad one!

Flight delayed by enough to ensure that I reached Delhi after 12 and make it a new day :). And btw, I have never heard of any other reason for the flight delays.. "due to the late arrival of incoming aircraft..". Crap.

And I sit in the airport for 2 hours waiting for the boarding announcement as I watch the mad crowd and the madder airport staff grappling with strange problems.

Atlast I boarded. And was welcomed by a couple of disgruntled uncles and an aunty. Indian Airlines...

I looked at my ticket and realized my seat no. was 15B, the middle seat. I didnt mind that. Probability of having an inspiring company beside me doubled!

As I walked towards 15B, I noticed probability was halved immediately. A duffer was already seated in 15A. Quite a clown he was. Wierdly funky t-shirt, big spectacles with magnifying glass, protruding teeth and a smile that could kill. Literally.

But I smiled. I realized that I have atleast another 50% of chance... poor chap must have given up all hopes looking at me ;). I wish I could get to see his blog :).

Anyways, I got into my seat and waited for some miracle to happen. Miracle, coz it had never happened before. In any form of journey... bus, train, flight.. never.

And then this beautiful girl got into the plane. She looked like Bipasha from a distance. I waited, hoping against hope.. She walks past 10, 11, 12.. comes upto my seat and asks me.. "Excuse me, is this 15?". I beamed at her and said, "One five fifteen.. yes".

"Oh good.. 16, 17, 18.. aah thats my seat. Thanks!". And she walked past.

I couldn't stop smiling. At myself. And the day.

It was not over.. I realized.. when this dark, fat, ugly old man came and somehow wriggled into the seat beside me. He was too big for the seat. He should have been charged atleast 1.5 times the others. And I dont know if it was the horn effect, but I thought he stinked too. With that stink, those huge, perenially flaring nostrils, and the big face.. I decided to call him the hippo.

Sandwiched between a clown and a hippo. I resigned to my fate.

The plane took more than half an hour to take off. Waiting for the runway to get cleared. Gosh.

A li'l while after take-off I noticed that this hippo uncle was carrying loads of brochures. Of a lot of NGOs, most of them orphanages. I wouldnt have bothered asking, but he was actually carrying atleast a hundred of them! So, my general curiosity overpowered my hatred for that hippo. And I asked him.. "How come you have so many of those?".

"I work for them"

"All of them?".

He smiled. "Yes. Actually I am a freelancing NGO consultant. I somehow find out about any NGO anywhere in the country in any kind of need and I go there and work for them. Helping them generate funds. And there are so many such organizations needing help. From the mountains in the north-east to the jungles of south.. everywhere. There are so many people doing so much good work in the country. I go upto them and try helping them..".

Suddenly his voice was sounding great. And I asked, "NGO consultancy sounds like interesting work!".

"Well, its hard and dirty work. But the passion keeps me going".

"But so many brochures?".

"I work for atleast 30-40 NGOs at a time".

"Wow.. that is great. And you charge a percent out of the funds generated. That sounds like a good philanthropic business idea!".

"Not really. i dont charge anything".

"Then how do you manage your expenses?".

"I work for 2 years. Thankfully I have a lot of my friends from my IIT and Carnegie days who get me some kind of job for these 2 years. And then spend the money I saved in these 2 years on this work. As soon as I am broke, I go back to work."

I was speechless. Suddenly the dark, fat, ugly old man looked different.

"So what do you do?" he asked me.

After quite a while, "Nothing, really", was all that I could manage.

And after we landed in Delhi, the day just got summed up wonderfully. That clown was received by an absolutely gorgeous female at the airport.. Apparently his fiancee.

And again, I couldn't stop smiling. At myself. And the day.

Short story. Simple lesson.

I had a tiff with my friend the other day. Actually it was brewing from a while.

We were arguing quite randomly. True, we do that quite often... but this time I was getting angry. Very angry.
A few years ago, I had stopped talking to another of my very good friend because of a similar caustic argument. And I was just as angry then.

I was scared my anger was getting beyond my control and I told her as much. But she kept arguing on the rights and wrongs in the discussion. And perhaps was right about a lot of things.

I realized a very important thing at that moment.. There will be a lot of situations in your life when you are in an argument and you are sure that you are on the 'right' side. But in some such cases its not all that important to reason out an argument. It is more important to ensure that you dont lose that person for some stupid argument which really did not deserve to be adjudged.

So, try killing your ego for just a li'l while and stop reasoning. And smile :).

[Okay now for the actual gyaan part.  :)]

Sometimes getting a smile back on somebody's face is more important... than winning an argument. Specially when those people are important.
Because losing that argument may not hurt you for long. But losing those people might quite certainly do.